I don't noe wht face i should show from now on.
why don't you teach me?
i cannot be happy.
but why do i still smile? ):
i really dun uds myself.
but, i really don't noe how to stop those overflowing emotions rushing thru me and tht overflowing tears.
today morning, i found out they were swollen.
i wonder why i should torture myself like tht when you told th wholeworld how bad i were.

i called eur office.
eur friend picked.
and she "told me off".
coincidentally, my phone ran outta batt.
i was out of reach.

yahh, evrything is my fault.
if by doing this makes you happy, go ahead.
so wht?
i'm as disappointed in you as you are w me.
i tried to control myself.
but my mouth/attitude just won't budge.
i also dunno how to get this thorn out.
i'm so glad tht camp is coming.
3 days for us to calm dwn.
but i doubt you wld.
cos eur too angry w me.

whtevr, if tht really calms you dwn.

now, when i really give it a tot, i realised i've no whr to go.
i don't fit in my ***'s family, this family, ********* family either. i got no whr to go.
haha, maybe i'm really tht insignificant.
oh well, get used to it alrdy.

evrsince i was born, it's suppose to be like tht, isn't it?
th UN-talented person in my family.
all th good genes are taken by my sis.
even i disappointed evryone when i was born.
i was suppose to be a guy.
evryone loved th "guy" me.

maybe, i should hv really been a guy.
like tht, evryone wld be happier.
maybe i'll even get doted more.
If tht's so, i wouldn't hv to try as hard as now.
even if i make mistakes, evryone will forgive me.

so why shld i care?

i'm such a failure.
tell me, why must i be here th first place?
i don't belong anywhr nor do i fit in.
i'm just a pain in th butt.

私に再度微笑する方法を教えなさい。 それはここにそう息が詰まるようなあることである。 私はどこでそれからもう一度呼吸してもいいか。私は私が自分自身をもう確認できないまでそんなに変わったか。