sorry, but I'm not feeling tht good now. i cried again ):
so, th below post might be a bit emo.

can sumone teach me how to be a good senior? ):
seriously.
I really dunno how to go on teaching liddat.
Its not like I really didnt put in my effort.
I reallyreallyreally tried my best to teach all of you.
But why?
Why did it turn out liddat?
And i noe, its all my fault.
No matter wht i say, its still my fault.
I cun teach anyone.
I'm no good in expressing myself.
But i reallyreallyreallyreally want both of you to do well.
But no matter wht i do, its still th same.
But I've alrdy put in my best, wht do you want me to say?
This won't do, tht won't do.
Then wht else are thr left for me to do?
I taught you all, its not tht you dunno.
Its just tht you dun hv tht courage to blow it all out.
But if you dun blow it out, how do i noe whr you don't uds so tht i can re-teach you again?
How wld i noe?
I also dunno.
4 - 6 more mths and I'm gone.
Seriously, I'm scared.
I'm very scared.
Its not tht I dun hv faith in you all.
I have, alot.
I know all of you have th potential to shine.
You noe, you two have really made alotalot of improvements.
Not only I noticed it.
Huiern did too.
Even th smallest improvements like getting th correct notes, blowing 1 bar is still remarkable.
Its not like eur dun't hv th potential.
Its just tht all of you are lacking in th courage.
But how am i suppose to help it?
Only you can change th way you think, i can't do it for you.
I have th courage to blow doesn't mean tht you will have tht same courage to do so.
Everybdy is different.
And I'm still finding my way thru all this mess.
I reallyreallyreally hope tht all of you wun give up.
Please, put in all eur effort in learning all th songs.
I know tht this is hard, who doesn't know?
But you hv to bear thru this.
Aft all, nxt yr I'm gone.
Even if i am back, i also can't help you blow.
All you all have its only yourself, and not me.
I'm really proud of you both.
Really.
I noe you all can do it.
All you all need is just tht bit of passion, tht bit of enthu and pooof, you can shine.
But wht can i do to bring tht out of you two?
Both of you really have different strengths.
But you both hv th same weakness, dun dare to blow it out.
Who cares if its wrong?
Aft all, you hv made tht effort to blow.
If its wrong, then correct it.
Nobdy will laf at you.
All it takes is tht extra courage.
Wht more do i have to say to make you all realise it?

so please, realise it alrdy.

I still rmb, during sec1/2 tht tym, thr's alotalot of time whr I was ALONE, during full orchestra. Th times whr yuping had alrdy stepped dwn and cheaufei got smth on. Thr's only me and me alone for zhongyinsheng. I was scared, but i got used to it. At least, i did contribute to th music and tried my hardest to perform th nest I could. evrybody have to go thru tht phase of growing up and maturing, in emotionally wise. Evryone hv to at least experience it once. All you have to do is to put all th knowledge eur snrs have taught you and put it into action. Its no use having it in eur head only. So wht? You hv to prove it to others and show them wht eur snr had taught you, isn't it?

I don't know how you guys think.
But atleast, tht's how i felt.

I know it hurts when others didnt recognise eur efforts.
I was also hurt.
Its like, i alrdy put in my utmost le, and wht more does he wants?
But wht to do?
Life is liddat.
We hv to meet ppl requirements even when we've alrdy tried our best when our best is not their best.
We still hv to carry on.
I won't give up.
So please, tell me tht all of you won't give up too.
Aft all, I alrdy know all th basics so why shld i bother taking time out teaching your?
But i really hope tht your can be th one of th best(: